Ad Copy Blues
Ours, like all cities, really is an incredible place to visit on a stopover. It’s hot enough to melt your socks off. The flattering locals are eager to please your discerning eagle-eye. It’s your vacation flight’s top interlude of the season.
As you step off the plane, the engine oil shimmers in the springtime blue. There’s sand and tarmacadam and grass and other compulsory surfaces. Curated examples of local and international flora bask in lovingly arranged templates.
You slide through the airport on a horizontal escalator. Your baggage follows sedately. There’s a cool place to grab a diet beverage to slake your curiosity as you rate your pilot in the patented app — downloadable on all mobile devices.
Feel the reverb buoying your business-class collectible sneakers as you hop briskly to your obligatory taxi. I’ve never been there, but I hear it’s magnificent on the school holidays.
The hotel is exactly identical to every other; the decor is quite unique. The television has all the channels, except the forbidden ones. You’ll have to go to YouTube for those, using the free Wi-Fi. The password is displayed prominently in the digital welcome brochure.
Every employee was born to serve you adequately.
You can drown yourself in the power-jet walk-in shower. They won’t find you for days. “The anaerobic nature of decomposition for wet or submerged remains may result in adipocere formation, a unique and fascinating process that results from incomplete transformation of lipids by bacteria.” — Caruso, Acad Forensic Pathol. 2016 Mar; 6(1): 19–27.
Your clothes are tailored by a machine in another place where they earn enough to rent a life, fifty per cent off. You can, legally speaking, eat them.
The dark night is perfectly illuminated as you levitate your attire-covered body to a late breakfast. French Continental is in croissant form, as are you.
There’s something especially moving about the wave the candles flicker. It reminds you of a hole you once saw, but never believed. It’s gone now. Naturally, tipping is included in the bill.
Sleep. The terror only rouses you twice. Fortunately, your screams are delightfully muffled by the air-conditioning. It’s nowhere near as bad as home.
Morning, or afternoon, or the later early evening, or, indeed, any time that you fancy, is the moment for your awakening. You rendezvous with the airport in reverse time. It’s the same as tomorrow. Please refer to the terms and conditions for additional information.
By the time you are home you are intensely relaxed. Your overdraft limit has been refreshed by the caring folk at your local bank. In a study of one hundred and ninety three participants, your memory was shown to increase joy in eighty seven per cent of respondents.
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We hope you consider us, or ourselves, or our affiliates for your next mortality event.
